At Second Glance
by amused-cat23
Summary: Jasper and Edward realize that there is something missing in their lives. After a fateful hunting trip, they discover that they are what the other is missing. Rated M for slash, lemons and my potty mouth. I'm sorry, JASPER'S potty mouth. Not my fault!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I'mmmmmm Darkkite23! Otherwise known as Rika! You can just call me =^..^=! (Don't ask how you pronounce it, just call me it.) I'm hoping that you came here because you wanted some slashy, lemon filled JasperxEdward goodness! If not, GO AWAY! Nah… But seriously, if you don't like it, don't read this. But you could go read some of my other stuff! *nods head furiously***

**Anyway, for those coming from "The Sound of Crashing Waves", this will be a little happier. All vampire, slashy goodness! BOW CHIKA BOW WOW. Rated M for lemons and some language. Maybe some gore, but not much if any. **

***Sigh* If you recognize anything, it's Stephanie Meyer's. Cuz, if I wrote **_**Twilight**_**, there'd be so much sex that every fan girls' heads would spin. Don't you wish I wrote it? XD**

**Well, I've typed your virtual ears off enough, so I'll go now. Okay, right now. Riiiiiiiight nooooooooow… No, NOW.**

**Btdubs, this will alternate between Edward and Jasper, because I'm just THAT badass. This one is Edward's POV. Okay, I'll let Edward take over. *runs off stage and pushes Edward on* Now, GO!**

If I was going to be completely honest, I've always been a loner. From what little human memories I had, I knew that I was a loner then too. I had my family, and they were all I needed. For the most part. Sure, I got lonely, but I just… adapted and got over it. And by getting over it, I mean I threw myself into my studies and music. That's why, next to Carlisle, I know the most sciences, the most languages and the most amount of useless information in the family. That's also why I've composed more symphonies than Bach and Mozart combined. It would be more than Bach, Mozart and Debussy, but, hey, I still need to hunt!

When Bella came into my life, I hoped that my loneliness would finally come to an end. There she was, another loner. Though, she threw herself into literature, specifically fiction. I knew I should've been happy, but there was always the nagging feeling that I would still feel empty, even with Bella.

_Hey, Edward_.

I was pulled out of my musings by a silky voice with a slight southern twang. Jasper. He pushed himself off the opposite wall and started to sinuously stride to the sofa I was currently perched on.

_Is it okay if I hang by you?_

I nodded inconspicuously, though not knowing why he was asking me this telepathically. I don't think the rest of the family would be offended. He stood next to me, and it dawned on me that this was the closest he's ever been to me. I mean, Jasper and I get along, but I've always felt that he kept his distance from me. I never knew why. He didn't think about it.

_Why don't we go hunting? Get away from here._

Hmm… Jasper/Edward bonding time. Alright. I stood up and followed him out the door. Everyone was wrapped up in their own agenda and didn't notice we left. Typical. Jasper looked back at me with a grin when we were at the edge of the forest behind the house.

"I'll race ya!"

He bolted, catching me off guard. I stood back and smiled smugly while counting to ten. Then, I took off. After all, I AM the fastest runner in the family.

_Scaredy-cat! Betcha can't catch me!_

I launched myself forward, following his scent. Jasper smelled very rugged, kind of like leather and hay. He also had a sweet, yet somewhat spicy edge, very similar to cinnamon. He smelled very good, but we all smelled good. Part of the vampire charm. I caught up to him quickly and waved as I ran past him. He groaned loudly.

"Dammit Edward! Give someone else the chance to win something for once!"

I laughed and ran ahead of him, yelling back at him.

"Sorry! Not today, Jazz!"

I burst through the woods and into a big clearing. I basked in in my victory for a half second before Jasper tackled me to the ground.

"You may have won the race, but I'll win the battle!"

He rolled me to my back and had me pinned beneath him. His lips were curled into a growl, but there was laughter in his eyes. Just then, the clouds rolled away, leaving the brilliant sun exposed. Jasper's face was illuminated and I was covered in scintillating light. His whole face sparkled and I realized that I had never really looked at him before. The sun was blocked again, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Jasper's face. His skin was incredibly pale (obviously) but there was still a hint of the Texas sun. His eyes, which were in constant motion, were wide and surrounded by long and dark lashes. If I stared long enough, I could see past the gold to uncover the ocean blue they once were. The only things that caught my attention more that his eyes were his full, red lips. They had relaxed from the growl and were now just partially opened. His cinnamony breath fanned across my face and my head began to spin.

Wait… Vampires don't get dizzy. What was going on?

"Um, Jasper?"

His eyes widened and he twitched. Before I knew it, he was standing above me. I sat up, trying to shake off the weird feeling I felt throughout my body. Jasper stood awkwardly with one hand in his long and curly blonde hair and the other on his right hip. He was biting his bottom lip and looking off to the side.

_What the fuck just happened?_

"I have no idea…" I replied.

He jumped slightly and looked down at me. If he still had blood, I'm positive it would've flooded his cheeks. He held a hand out for me so I could stand up. I took it, because I still felt weird. He yanked me up and suddenly, we were _really_ close to each other. His hand was still clasped around mine, and we had mirroring shocked expressions as we stared into the other's eyes. There was an almost audible buzzing sound coming from between us.

Jasper inhaled slightly, and we stepped apart. One of my hands went to my hair as the other pinched the bridge of my nose. I heard a light slapping sound, signaling that Jasper facepalmed. I peaked up at him and saw him doing the same. We smiled sheepishly. I cleared my throat.

"So, uh, why did you want to come out here? Not that I have a problem, it's just unexpected."

He exhaled and leaned his head back with his eyes closed.

"I had to get away from everyone, ya know? Rosalie was all pissy, Emmett was way too horny, Carlisle was anxious and Esme was worried, probably about Rosalie and Carlisle."

"And Alice?"

He leaned his head forward again and opened his eyes. His lips were twisted in a snarl.

"Alice is just fucking annoying." There was definitely a hostile edge in his usually calm, sultry voice.

"Oh… So why'd you want me to come out with you? Again, not that I mind. You just seem like you want to get away from people."

He smiled and looked in the eyes.

_Pretty._

"You're different, Edward. You were just… thoughtful. And kind of lonely. I figured hanging out with me would be better than nothing, right?"

I smiled and nodded. We just stood there for a bit, enjoying each other's company.

"Plus," he started, breaking the comfortable silence. "Plus, you're eyes are kinda dark. I also figured a bite to eat wouldn't hurt."

"Yeah… Especially if I have to be around Bella."

His eyes narrowed.

_Her._

I gazed back at him, confused. He looked almost angry. Then, it passed and he was calm again.

"When you were feeling lonely before… Um, well, were you thinking about Bella?"

I eyed him suspiciously.

"Maybe. Why?"

He shrugged and shook his head.

"No reason. Just wondering…"

_Guess he's not as happy with her as I thought… Good to know._

I cocked my head at him. He pretended to ignored me and looked out into the large space before us. We heard the growl of lions a few miles away and Jasper turned to be with a wide smile playing on his lips.

"You up for mountain lion?"

I rolled my eyes.

"When am I _not_ up for lion?"

He laughed and took off running.

_Last one there is a rotten egg!_

I laughed. He's so goofy. I took off after him, and he ended up being the rotten egg. It turns out, the growls we heard was because of a fight between three males over a female. Jasper and I attacked and drained two of the males before the other two lions noticed. After if finished my first lion, I climbed a tree so I could let one of the lions run away so I could chase it down. Apparently, Jasper must've been pretty thirsty, because he latched onto the female as soon as he finished his first lion. I couldn't help but marvel at just how sexy it was when he drank. With each pull, his body moved, like he was dancing. His eyelids fluttered, and his fingers tangled in the animal's fur. There was also a hint of a smile as he drank. He reminded me of a child drinking chocolate milk. The sweet flavor ran over every taste bud and caused small explosions in his mouth. His words, not mine. When he finished the female, he surprised me by whispering, "Thank you for the meal. I hope you died peacefully and have all the males fighting for you in lion heaven." into her ear and placing a light kiss on the to of her head. Then, very carefully, he dug a grave and placed her in, muttering a prayer. I was so touched by his compassion that I leaped from my place in the tree to stand in front of him, staring at him in awe.

"Gah! I forgot you were here! Did you get the other male?"

"Do you always do that when you hunt?"

Jasper puffed out a sigh and ran his fingers through his buttery gold hair before answering me.

"Emmett always makes fun of me. But, just because they are animals doesn't mean they don't deserve a peaceful death. Every life is precious, and I thank each animal I drink for their contribution to the "Feed-Jasper-Whitlock-Cullen" fund."

I don't know what came over me, but suddenly, I was overtaken by his utter kindness that I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his slender body.

_Whoa… Unexpected…_

But he reciprocated, and we embraced for a few minutes. The growl of the other lion in the distance startled us and we stepped apart. Before I ran to get the other lion, Jasper reached out and touched my face. His eyes ran over it completely and then dropped his hand so I could hunt again.

I was beginning to think that this was the best hunting trip ever.

**Alright, so tell me what you think about this first chapter, mkay? I absolutely luuuurv reviews! ^_^**

**Oh, if you haven't already, I HIGHLY suggest you dearies read "Said and Done" by ICMezzo. I must say, it is my absolute FAVORITE fan fiction piece I've ever read! It's JasperxEdward, and Edward is an adorably clueless vampire who is hopelessly drawn to human guitarist, Jasper. This story is absolutely, toe curlingly adorable and you will laugh your pigtails off. (Hell yeah I just said that) Warning, don't read it in public or around anyone who doesn't understand fan fiction. You will look like a mad person who needs to be put in a straight jacket and sent to the funny farm. I made the mistake of reading it on the bus once, and everyone (yes, even the smelly guy that mumbles to himself!) looked at me like I was an unraveled sweater. **

**So, yeah! Thanks for reading, hope you want more, and go read the previously mentioned story, mkay? Mkay. I love you dearies! PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Darkkite23=^..^=**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey dearies! Thanks for all the reviews and whatnot! Not much to say, so here you go!**

"Jazzy! Why don't we go to Olympia today? There's this new store I want to check out!"

I rolled my eyes at my bouncing wife. "We went to Seattle yesterday and Port Angeles the day before that. Why can't we just stay home? I can think of a few things we could do here."

Alice cocked her head to the side, her eyes wide. "Like what?"

Emmett was horny, so I was feeling it too. I raised an eyebrow suggestively and put my hands on her tiny waist. I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Oh, you know…"

Before I could nip at the lobe, she twisted out of my grasp. I growled and crossed my arms.

"Alice! We haven't done it in weeks! I have needs too, ya know!"

"Well, that's your problem. I have needs too, and those all involve shopping! Now, are you going to come with me or not?"

I huffed loudly and stormed away. I hoped that was enough of an answer. I was done putting up with her shit. She was being super annoying, and it was pissing me off. Well, that could've been Rosalie. She was stomping around upstairs. It was an off day when she wasn't feeling bitchy. It really got irritating and I didn't want to put up with any of that today. Everyone in the whole God damn house was putting me on wit's end. I leaned against one of the walls, trying to collect myself.

I closed my eyes and knocked my head lightly against the wall, trying in vain to block all the emotions out. When I got it to a bearable level, I was hit by loneliness. My eyes opened and I searched for the source.

Edward was half standing, half sitting on the arm of the couch across from me. He had a faraway, almost sad expression on his face. I felt a sort of pulling feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was feeling bad for Edward. He's always alone. It made sense that he would be feeling lonely, I guess. But… he had Bella, right? He should've been happy… Which brought me back to wondering why he felt lonely in the first place. Could it have been that Bella wasn't who he wanted? Only one way to know.

_Hey, Edward._

He looked up at me, curiously. I shoved off the wall and closed the distance between us.

_Is it okay if I hang by you?_

He moved his eyes up and down, nodding so only I could see. He didn't need to do that…

_Why don't we go hunting? Get away from here. _

He looked a bit thoughtful for a second before looking up at me and nodding. I turned around and started walking out of the house. I heard him behind me, and when I reached the edge of the forest, I looked back at him.

"I'll race ya!"

Then, I took off before he could react. Sure, I was cheating, but, c'mon! Cut me a break; the guy's the fastest runner in the family. I ran as fast as I possibly could, feeling the exhilarating wind whoosh through my hair. It cleared my head, cleansing me of the negativity I was feeling earlier. I caught scent of Edward behind me. Out of all of us, Edward smelled the best. His scent was a mixture of old books, oak trees and vanilla. Much better than Alice. She just smelled like the formaldehyde they used to preserve the clothes she adored so much. Edward seemed to be hanging back a bit.

_Scaredy-cat! Betcha can't catch me!_

He chuckled, and within half a second, he was zooming past me. He turned his head so he could smirk at me and wave. I groaned loudly.

"Dammit Edward! Give someone else a chance to win something for once!"

He laughed loudly. "Sorry! Not today Jazz!"

Hearing him say my name did strange things to my body. It started to tingle and I was overtaken with an intense desire to touch him. He ran into a clearing, raising his face to the sky with a smile. I launched myself and grabbed him by the waist, effectively knocking him to the ground.

"You may have won the race, but I'll win the battle!"

I threw him on his back so I could growl playfully at him. I didn't expect the sun shine at that exact moment. Nothing could've prepared me for just how breathtaking Edward could be. His skin glittered, but that wasn't what caught my attention. His eyes, wide and mesmerized, were staring into mine. His lashes cast long shadows over his cheekbones, which were high and prominent. His nose was completely straight and angular. His lips, both a deep, deep red, were agape. They were plump and excruciatingly tempting. I think I leaned it a bit, drawn by his intoxicating scent, but he sucked in a ragged breath and his eyelids fluttered.

"Um, Jasper?"

I was brought back to reality and jumped off him. Once again, I needed to collect myself. My fingers tangled in my hair, which they did when I was nervous. What the fuck just happened?

"I have no idea…"

I jumped. He startled me, which is very hard to do, seeing how I'm a vampire. I scratched my head one more time and held out a hand for Edward hold so he could stand up. I guess I tugged a little too hard, because he was right in my face. My unnecessary breath caught in my throat as I stared into his butterscotch eyes. Well, they were a dark butterscotch, but still very spellbinding. I became hyperaware of an electrical current passing through us. Our hands were still joined. I sucked in an unsteady breath and he ripped his hand out of mine. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his left hand and ran the other through his messy red-brown hair. After his fingers went through it, it looked even messier and … sexier. I facepalmed. Sexy? Really?

I looked up at him hesitantly, only to meet his gaze again. I smiled awkwardly and he did the same. He cleared his throat.

"So, uh, why did you want to come out here? Not that I have a problem, it's just unexpected."

I exhaled and leaned my head back, letting the sun warm my face.

"I had to get away from everyone, ya know? Rosalie was all pissy, Emmett was way too horny, Carlisle was anxious and Esme was worried, probably about Rosalie and Carlisle."

"And Alice?"

My head snapped back up. I felt anger build in my gut and begin to consume me. I tried to relax, but no such luck.

"Alice is just fucking annoying."

He looked a little taken aback, but weirdly… aroused? No… He cleared his throat again. Must be a nervous habit.

"Oh… So why'd you want me to come out with you? Again, not that I mind. You just seem like you want to get away from people."

His eyes glittered a bit in the sunlight. Whoa. Pretty. I grinned stupidly at him.

"You're different, Edward. You were just… thoughtful. And kind of lonely. I figured hanging out with me would be better than nothing, right?"

He let it sink in for a second before smiling and nodding. It was quiet for a second.

"Plus," I started. "Plus, you're eyes are kinda dark. I also figured a bite to eat wouldn't hurt."

He pursed his lips. "Yeah… Especially if I have to be around Bella."

My eyes narrowed. Her. She was getting in the way. He got a bit confused, so I sent him some calm.

"When you were feeling lonely before… Um, well, were you thinking about Bella?"

He was suspicious, but answered, "Maybe. Why?"

I shrugged and acted like it wasn't a big deal. "No reason. Just wondering…"

I had to hold back a chuckle. Guess wasn't as happy with her as I thought… Good to know_._ I saw him cock his head out of the corner of my eye as I looked out into the field before us. In the distance, we heard a couple lions going at it. Fighting, I mean… That would be awkward if they were… _mating._ I turned back to Edward.

"You up for mountain lion?"

He rolled his eyes and replied, "When am I _not _up for lion?"

I barked out a quick laugh before bolting quickly.

_Last one there's a rotten egg!_

He laughed and I heard him start to run. It didn't take long before he passed me, making me the rotten egg. Just as I suspected, there were three male lions fighting over a female. She must've been pretty happy about that. Not everyday that you have three studs fighting over you. Edward and I swooped in and snatched two of the males and had them drained before the other two knew they were gone. Edward ran off, scaring the other male. He liked the chase. I was too thirsty, so I grabbed the female. I know the others don't really like the taste of animals and only drink them to quench the fire, but I actually really enjoy lions. I don't know what it is about them, but to me, their blood is so sweet. It reminded me of the chocolate milk my mama used to make me as a child. She would buy the sweetest chocolate she could find, and would melt a little bit to put in milk. If I did all my chores, she'd give it to me as a reward. I relished in the way it felt going down my throat and tongue. It felt like tiny explosions on my taste buds. I hummed as I drained the lion, getting a bit caught up and slightly aroused. Sweet things make me feel happy. I think I may have started pelvic thrusting the poor beast, but she was dead. I didn't feel like I violated her or anything. When she ran dry, I whispered in her ear, "Thank you for the meal. I hope you died peacefully and have all the males fighting over you in lion heaven." Then, I kissed her furry head and began to dig a hole to bury her in. Everyone deserved a proper burial, even animals. I put her in gently, said a small prayer, and turned around to get the other lion when Edward jumped down from a tree, effectively startling me.

"Gah! I forgot you were here! Did you get the other male?"

His eyes were wide and he looked a bit surprised. "Do you always do that when you hunt?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my curls. I was a little embarrassed.

"Emmett always makes fun of me. But, just because they are animals doesn't mean they don't deserve a peaceful death. Every life is precious, and I thank each animal I drink for their contribution to the "Feed-Jasper-Whitlock-Cullen" fund."

He looked at me with such an amazed expression, I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. He absolutely radiated wonder, and I really didn't expected it when he threw himself at me. I was a bit too startled to hug him back at first, but I did. How had I gone so long without holding him like this? It just felt… right. I pressed myself into him tighter, needing him closer to me. The other lion growled, making us both jump. I have to say, that's hard to do to a vampire. I sighed and let go of Edward. I looked into his beautiful eyes one more time and couldn't help as my hand reached out to stroke his cheek. His eyes got wide and a breath caught in his throat. I lowered my hand and he stood there for a second before running to catch the lion. He seemed… happy. I guess I didn't freak him out like I thought I did. I could already tell that things were going to be different between us.

**Thanks for reading!**

**Oh! Before I forget, if anyone is looking for Beta work, I need one for this story! Please please please! I'll write you lemony stories if you do! *waves lemon bars around* You know you waaaaaant them!**

**Reviews please, dearies!**

**Darkkite23=^..^=**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. I've been having some serious issues with this chapter. On top of that, I had a pretty busy weekend, so I'm sorry this took a few days. Though, I'm sure that it wouldn't be a big deal if it did take me a while to update. There are so many other more amazing stories out there. Here are some of the ones I've read recently (since my list in "The Sound of Crashing Waves"):**

"**Said and Done" (my absolute favorite fanfic story ever) and "Jasper and the No Longer Remotely Private Parts" by ICMezzo**

"**I Wept Not" by ArcadianMaggie**

"**Jasper and Edward's High School Reunion" by PerfectlyPersuasive**

"**Next to Normal" by Slytherclaw12**

"**Seven Minutes in Heaven" by tuesdaymidnight **

"**What You've Done to Me" by Xavier Willow**

**Go check them out, mkay? They are awesome! I have more stories, and they're in my favorites. And in chapter 19 of my story "The Sound of Crashing Waves." Alright, I shut up now. See you at the bottom, dearies! *that's what she said***

I nearly stumbled, but I was able to chase after the lion. As I ran and soon, as I drank, all I could think about was Jasper. His eyes, his lips, his sweet breath, his body against mine… Everything. Especially how… sexy… he looked while draining the lion.

And I was terrified.

He had Alice. I had Bella. Hell, he was supposed to be like my brother. So why on God's green earth did I feel this way about him now? What made today so different? Sure, when he and Alice came into the family, I thought he was very attractive. His voice was deep and sensual, the Southern accent making it even more enticing. And sure, I thought he was the most handsome man, human or vampire, I'd ever seen. Even more that Carlisle, which is hard to do. But I didn't think anything of it. Is it possible that I was attracted to him at first sight? No… I loved Bella.

Didn't I?

She made me feel different things. I was very drawn to her. Though, it could've also been the way her blood sang to me. It was like a hand that grabbed me by my collar and pulled me along with her. And she was very pretty. Her big brown eyes were very captivating. I couldn't hear her thoughts, which provided me with an attractive mystery.

But was it love?

I heard a twig snap behind me, and I whirled around. Jasper stared at me like a doe caught in headlights.

"Um, I didn't mean to scare you! You've been gone for a while, so… I was worried…"

Gone? But I just got here…

"How long have I been over here?"

"Like, almost thirty minutes! I was… scared that I…"

_I was scared that I freaked you out._

My stomach clenched. I didn't want to worry him.

"No, I'm fine Jasper. I was just thinking about some things."

He tilted his head to the side.

"Like what?"

If I could blush, I would've. Instead, I looked down at the dead lion at my feet.

"Oh, you know… Stuff."

He moved until he was right in front of me. He brought his hand to my chin and pulled my face up to his. I met his curious stare.

"What kind of stuff?"

My mind became clouded as I gazed intently into his swirling topaz eyes. Musical notes floated through my head as I was lost in an amber ocean. Slow, luxurious melodies played and my fingers itched to lay them down on my grand piano. I imagined Jasper's lithe body moving and swaying to the music, like a large feline. He danced from the heart, doing for himself and no one else. My heart clenched at the thought of watching Jasper absolutely lose himself, like he had with the lion.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

I was snapped out of my day dream. He stared at me, his face begging for answers. I bit my lip, a habit I picked up from Bella. Jasper sucked in a breath. What I wasn't prepared for was the hungry look that glazed his eyes.

_Need…_

His grip on my chin tightened and my right hand came up to cup his face. We slowly moved closer to each other. My eyes never left his. He turned his head slightly and our lips touched. My body vibrated and tingled. Our eyes slid shut and I lost myself in him. Both my hands were holding his face. He was still holding my chin while his other hand was pressed against the small of my back. Our bodies gravitated to close the distance between each other. I felt his lean frame against every part of my body. There was only a few layers of clothing between us.

Jasper moaned and his lips opened, his tongue coming out to stroke my lips. I granted him entrance into my mouth, and he wasted no time to curl his tongue around mine. He gripped the back of my shirt tightly, and if I actually cared, I would've been worried that he would rip it. But, I didn't, and he was able to push it up a bit and stroke my bare lower back. I slid my hands down his face and to his neck before pulling myself even closer to him and wrapping my arms around his shoulders. Jasper grabbed my legs and hitched them around his hips. I separated from him and gasped. He growled and attacked my neck while pushing me against a tree. Jasper licked and sucked on my sensitive throat and I made quite a few strangled noises. Again, if I actually cared, I would've been embarrassed. But I didn't, so they came out freely.

_I need… more… _

Jasper ground his pelvis into mine and I threw my head back and moaned loudly. He growled and did it again.

"Oh God! Jasper!"

He laughed and licked into my mouth. I met his thrusts and earned a wonderful noise from him. We both panted and brought each other close to the edge.

"Edward!"

He shuddered and cried out. Watching him lose control sent me into orbit. He kept moving slowly against me, prolonging my wonderful moment. I gasped and Jasper kissed my neck lightly.

"You have no idea how amazing that was. Edward, that was…"

"We shouldn't have done that, Jasper."

His eyes widened.

"Wha- Why not?"

I groaned and pushed him away gently, but firmly so he would put me down. He did, and I fixed my clothes. They were a bit wrinkled and there was some bark on the back of my shirt. Jasper tried to touch my face, but I leaned out of his reach.

"Edward, did I do something wrong?"

I sighed.

"Jasper, we just… can't do that again. You have Alice, and I have Bella. That was… Well, it's not going to happen again, okay?"

I walked around him and started to dig a hole for the lion. Jasper came over and started to help me. We dug in silence. I turned to pick up the lion and place him in the hole.

"Edward, please talk to me."

"About what? I have nothing to talk about."

"Edward…"

I started to walk back to the house. I didn't hear Jasper behind me, and I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that I screwed up. I didn't mean any of that. But I was scared.

I could actually find myself falling for Jasper.

**Yeah yeah… This chapter kinda sucks. I'm sorry. I've had a bit of writer's block, and this was a difficult chapter to write. *sigh* I promise, next chapter won't suck.**

**Anyway, please review, dearies. They make me happy. **

**Darkkite23=^..^=**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the support guys! You dearies are awesome! ^_^ Well, here ya go!**

I sat against the tree, listening to Edward's retreating footfalls. They were getting quieter and faster. He was running away.

Away from me. If I could've cried, I would've been. I felt like he punched a hole in my chest with his words. I felt betrayed. He… reciprocated. He pulled me closer and kissed me. He came with me.

That's not something "brothers" do. No… We had a real moment together. My stone heart ached and I wanted to run after him and beg him not to leave me. Finally, the first time in God knows how long, I was happy. I was overcome with bliss in the clearing with Edward. Touching his skin, looking into his eyes- I was happy.

Why did he have to take that away from me?

I sat there until the sun went down and the nocturnal animals awoke from their slumber. The chirping of different insects pulled me from my thoughts.

"Jazzy? Where are you?"

No. Not insects. _Alice. _

"Jazzy! Why are you out here still? Edward got home like five hours ago! He said you were right behind him, but here you are, sitting on the ground and getting your clothes all dirty! I swear! You really need to-"

"Alice, just shut up. Shut the fuck up."

I stood up swiftly and walked past her. She had a stupid shocked expression on her face. Whatever. I ran, following Edward's faint trail, absorbing his wonderful scent. Alice wasn't behind me. I really didn't care.

I don't think I ever loved her.

/***/

When she walked into the café in Philadelphia so many years ago, I was fascinated by her golden eyes. Mine were bright red, as were every other vampire's. So why were hers yellow? She saw me almost immediately, and her entire face lit up. She absolutely radiated infatuation.

"Jasper! You've kept me waiting!"

I almost rolled my eyes. Who the fuck was she?

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, ma'am."

I said it sarcastically, trying to get her to leave me alone, but she took it as sincerity and practically yanked me out of the café. I left Maria's coven ten years before, and that was the first interaction I had with another vampire since I left. Thinking back, she could've killed me, but I really didn't care at the time. I was depressed and was contemplating upsetting the Volturi just so I had a way out. Instead, I let myself be pulled along by a pixie. She dragged me shopping, showed me how to survive on animals, and, to my dismay, married me. It was a spur of the moment decision. We went to Vegas and got hitched like a couple that got knocked up. She claimed that she was madly in love with me. I smiled and nodded and said "I do", because what else was there for me to do. Yes, I was indebt to her for showing me that I didn't have to kill people in order to quench my thirst. She also provided me company, although it was almost as bad as being alone again spending time with Alice, but I still had company. Eventually, when she was able to track them, she took me to meet the Cullens.

He was playing the piano when I walked in the house. His eyes were closed, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. He was playing Debussy's "Claire de Lune". I later learned that it was his favorite piece. Edward was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Vampires are supposed to be beautiful in order to attract our prey, but he was other worldly. When he turned to me, I just about lost my composure. Alice explained our unannounced arrival to everyone, but I was trying to ogle at Edward without him noticing. He had a very guarded aura, as if he didn't want to get very close with anyone. He didn't speak to me until about a month after Alice and I arrived and started living with the Cullens.

"Why did you leave the South?"

Alice went ahead and blurted to everyone that I was a high ranking officer in a Southern Army. I wasn't going to say anything, but she went and opened her big, stupid mouth, so the whole family knew. They all asked polite questions about my time in the Southern Land Wars, but nothing too personal. I was taken aback slightly by Edward's question. Firstly, he hadn't talked to me before then, so I thought he didn't like me. Secondly, he probably could've just read my mind to figure out why.

"I, um, didn't want to participate in the mindless killing and violence. Being an empath, I felt everything my victims felt. It was quite awful."

He nodded and didn't push further. I like Edward, and we got along, but I never felt like I connected with him in the beginning. As time wore on, he opened up a bit more to me. On a few occasions, he let his loneliness become apparent, and all I wanted to do was console him. But every time I tried to get closer to him, something else came up, and I would be pushed out again. Eventually, I gave up trying.

Until today.

/***/

A mile or so away from the house, I heard music rolling through the air. It was soft, sinuous, and absolutely beautiful. As if drawn by a cord, I followed the music all the was to the house, and through the door to the music room.

Edward was at his grand piano, eyes shut, smile playing on his lips and completely enraptured by the picturesque melodies pouring from his fingers. My body began to sway and move on its own accord. I loved to dance, but I never found time to do it. Alice wasn't into dancing, and I had no one else to go with me. My own eyes closed as I was absorbed by Edward's composition. Time ceased, and I we were in our own little universe.

The song came to a stop, and I opened my eyes. Edward gazed at me with utter fascination. If I was still a human, I probably would've blushed. It was a bit embarrassing to be caught losing myself. I stood up straight and unnecessarily cleared my throat, trying to break the awkward silence.

Edward stood up and walked to me slowly. I didn't move. I couldn't move. I was like a bird caught in a serpent's gaze. He stopped a few inches from me and continued to look into my eyes in wonder. What did he see there? Why wasn't he saying anything?

"Edward, wh-"

He silenced me by placing a finger on my lips. He lowered his gaze for a moment, and then looked up again through his thick lashes. He mouthed, _I'm sorry_. Hesitantly, he stood on tip toes and, with his finger still on my lips, kissed me lightly on the mouth. There was barely a noise, so I knew no one else would hear it. Then, he turned and walked back to his piano and started to play Esme's favorite.

Some of my anger and sadness began to abate, and my heart felt lighter. I closed my eyes and slowly swayed to the rhythm.

**Hope this chapter was better than the last! **

**Reviews are much appreciated!**

**Darkkite23=^..^=**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey… Sorry this is a little late. Well, late by my standards. *Sigh* Stressful stuff happening, you know. This chapter may be a little longer than normal. I had a lot to write about for this chapter. **

**Anyhoo, I mentioned it before, but no one responded. I need a Beta for this story. I would love to have one of my lovely readers Beta this story, but if no one wants to *sniff* I'll get one the old fashioned way. Ya know, one of the perks of being my Beta would be that I would write you fun stories. They can be filled to the brim with lemons, or full of angst, or even fuxing hilarious. I've written a few funny stories… **

**So, in summary, sorry this is late, stressed out, need a Beta, I love you all, dearies! Mkay, well, here ya goooo!**

"Edward…"

I turned to face Bella. We were watching Baz Luhrmann's _Romeo + Juliet. _I was fascinated by the modern adaptation, but I could feel Bella becoming anxious next to me. She stared up at me with her wide, brown eyes.

"Did I… Did I do something?" Her eyes began to water, and she looked down, blinking rapidly.

I opened my mouth to say something. Anything. But I couldn't. I just watched as a tear fell from her eyes and splashed minutely on her jean clad knee. From the corner of my eye, I saw Romeo take Juliet's shirt off and caress her back. Then, their lips met in a passionate kiss. I grabbed Bella's chin and pulled it up so I could kiss her. Her eyelids fluttered before closing. I squeezed my shut, and I tried to enjoy myself, but amber eyes and golden curls were burned behind my eyelids. Bella moaned and my annoyance spiked. It wasn't the deep, and sensual sound I wanted to hear. I twisted my fingers in her hair. The more I tried to put myself fully into the kiss, the more _his_ face appeared in my head.

Jasper.

Bella flinched and pushed against my chest. "Edward," she mumbled against my lips. "Edward! Please stop!"

Exhaling loudly, I pulled back, my anger flared. Not because I separated from Bella, but because Jasper was still dancing through my mind. I extracted my hand from Bella's hair, only to find I had quite a few strands draping over my fingers.

"Edward… Wha…?" Bella was shaking and her fear was almost palpable. I was struck by the most pleasing of scents.

Bella's blood.

She touched her lip delicately. There was a small cut on her bottom lip, which was already becoming very swollen.

"Edward… You…"

"I have to leave," I nearly spat out. As quickly as I could while still maintaining a human like appearance, I ran to my car. I jumped in and shoved the keys in and peeled away. But not before I heard Bella's shaky sobs.

/…/

I parked my car in the large garage and ran out into the forest. I was vaguely aware that it started raining, but I wasn't stopping. I caught traces of Jasper and my scent, but it was diluted by the rain. Unconsciously, I followed it and emerged from the trees into the clearing. I was already pretty soaked, so I laid down in the middle of everything. The rain drenched me even more. I hoped that it would wash away all of my impurities: my bloodlust, compulsive tendencies, violent urges, lust…

Lust for Jasper.

I wanted the rain to slowly begin to erode my body. I'd crumble away, bit by bit, and become immersed into the earth. To say it was wishful thinking would be an understatement. Our bodies, which look and feel like marble, are anything but. Marble is a very natural rock. It can be broken down by the different forces of nature. My body is not natural. No force but that of another vampire would be able to break me apart. Fire would finish the job, but only after we were dismembered completely.

I truly was the definition of a monster. I am an everlasting presence that plunders the world for all of eternity. Perhaps, if by some grace of God, I might anger another vampire enough for him to destroy me. It would have to take something truly serious for me to do that, though. I wouldn't be able to bear Carlisle's grief.

I began to think about occurrences that would cause me to become suicidal. Death of Carlisle? Maybe, but it would be like the death of a parent. It would be hard and painful, but over time, I would be able to think of him fondly. I'm sure the same could be said about Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and…

Jasper?

How would I feel if he died? My stomach clenched and my eyes pricked at the thought of it. To say it would be hard, well, that would be the biggest belittlement. But why would he matter more, above all my other siblings? Above Carlisle and Esme? Why Jasper?

I was lying to myself. I had feelings for Jasper that went beyond familial love. Could it be possible that I…

No. No, I love Bella.

Don't I?

What would I do if, no, _when_ she dies? She is mortal, and I would never damn her to this life. But, is that the true reason? Would I ever turn her so I could be with her forever? An eternity with Bella at my side. I shook my head.

But…

No. You always want the person you love. You want to be with them for an infinite amount of time, counting the years by the decades and centuries rather than by the month.

Right?

Which brought me back to my previous thought. What will I do when she dies? Could I do it? Would I go to the Volturi and beg them to end my life?

Death… The only thing more eternal than this accursed life. Death is final. Death is… nothing.

No family. No friends. No love. No compassion. No laughs. No heartache. Nothing.

No… Jasper.

Once again, my stomach clenched and I felt like I was going to heave. My eyes stung with the tears I could never shed.

Why was I lying to myself? Why was I so blind? It was not Bella I desired for eternity. It was…

Jasper.

But that could never be. We could never be together. It would tear the family apart. I had to thing of the family as a whole first. Right?

The bitter anguish of it all built up inside of me and I released a strangled sob. I choked on my own misery and the cruel unfairness of everything. Then, I became angry. Why did I feel this way about Jasper? How the hell could one hunting trip change my entire perspective of him? Why did he have to be such an amazing creature that I would die for?

Why did he have to be in love with Alice? Why couldn't we be together?

I slammed my fist into the ground, sending tremors and driving my hand a few inches into the soft earth. Slowly, I extracted my tightly clenched fist from the suffocating mud. It clung to my skin and sleeve. I considered trying to clean it off, but I didn't care enough to do it. I gripped two handfuls of grass, meaning to pull them out, but I couldn't bring myself do it. No use destroying things. I'm enough of a destroyer as is.

_I need to… help him… Don't cry._

My head snapped up and my gaze zeroed in on a small parting between a cluster of trees. Slender fingers clutched the jagged bark and my breath caught in my throat. He emerged partially from behind the tree. Rain dampened curls hung in front of his angelic face and he looked at me with such compassion and longing that my stone heart felt whole.

"Jasper…" I whispered into the wind.

He moved to the front of the tree, never looking away from me. Water droplets slithered down his perfect face like tears. He walked towards me, and I realized I was lying in the fetal position. Hastily, I adjusted my position so I was on my knees, caught in his tenacious stare. My internal torment melted away with every one of his footsteps. I felt a sense of rapture thrum through my body. I tried to squelch it with no success. I shouldn't be happy. I should tell him to go back to Alice. But… I couldn't.

"Edward…"

My body sang at the sound of my name leaving his plump red lips. He loomed over me and kept eye contact as he sank to his knees in front of me. He mimicked my exact position, down to the look of awe and hands struggling to stay on his thighs. I wanted so badly just to reach out and stroke his celestial face.

_Worry… Take it away…. Edward._

I leaned in, getting as close to him as I dared. His right hand twitched and, hesitantly, he brought it so he could cover my left hand. My bottom lip quivered slightly, and Jasper pulled me into his chest. My trembling hands clung to his saturated shirt as if it was a life line. In all honesty, it could've been. Dry, piercing sobs wracked my body. The whole time, Jasper held me in his arms, gently rubbing soothing circles on my back. I wanted to drown myself in his warm embrace.

We stayed like that long after the rain stopped falling. My sobs eventually ran dry, but he still held me, never leaving. When the sun began its decent to the horizon, marking the end of this gray day, I picked up my head so I could look Jasper in the eyes.

"Jasper, I…"

He answered my unspoken request my placing his lips on mine.

**Alright, I mentioned all I had to in the first A/N. But seriously, I need a Beta. I want only the best for my dearies! If you love this story (I really hope you do!) and you find kindness in you heart, please, PLEASE, Beta my story! You will be handsomely rewarded!**

**Well, until next time, my dearies. Parting is such sweet sorrow…**

**REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY!**

**Darkkite23=^..^=**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello hello! So, thanks to my lovely Beta, DreamingPoet1988, this chapter has been edited and perfected! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! Alright, so, no much to say other than thank you to my Beta. Here ya goooo!**

I sat in the study, trying to read one of the journals from my time in the Civil War. When I was mortal, I counted down the days until I turned 18 so I could enlist in the service. My mama taught me that all lies are wrong. Otherwise, I would've just told the enrollment officer that I was 18 so I could go off to be in the glorious battle at the tender young age of 16. I had numerous journals chronicling my two year run in the Confederate army. Everything I wrote seemed to have a very eager edge, even when I was describing the gruesome death of one of my comrades. Perhaps you could say that it was such eagerness that got me promoted to major within eight months of serving in the infantry.

Again, I stress that I was trying to read my journal. Alice was in there, whining and crying. I mean, for God's sake, the woman was literally begging me to pay attention to her and talk about what was bothering me. After being hit by wave upon wave of desperation, I finally snapped.

"Alice! Leave me the fuck alone! I don't want anything to do with you today, let alone talk about my feelings with you! Go away!"

"Jasper!" she wailed. "Jasper, what have I done to you that warrants you being so cold to me? What did I-"

Her eyes got wide and unfocused, signaling that she was getting a vision. Wait, why is she getting pissed about it now? Wouldn't she have seen what Edward and I did the other day? So, what was she seeing now? Alice sees the future… Maybe Edward and I hook up again? I fist pump internally. Her chin starts to tremble and she turns her head to face me. I'm hit with jealously, hurt, betrayal, sorrow, a twinge of lust, but most of all, fury.

I saw her actions less than half a second before she acted upon them. She leaped up, running towards me to try and knock me on the ground. I grab her wrists and pinned her beneath me. Along with teaching me how to be a skilled fighter, my time in Maria's army taught me to always be prepared for an attack. Alice gaped up at me, squirming in a futile attempt to escape.

"Jasper! How could you! How could you fucking cheat on me like that? And with Edward! As if the first time wasn't enough!" I must've betrayed a bit of my embarrassment, because she snapped at me, "Oh yeah, I saw the kissing and dry humping, but I thought it was because you were feeling a certain way! But… How could you? How could you do this to me again?"

While I internally fist pumped again at the fact that Edward and I will indeed have another rendezvous, Alice's sobs made me feel slightly guilty, guilty that I was technically cheating on her, not because I did it with Edward. Well, I felt a little guilty until she started to thrash and tried to knock me off of her. I almost laughed. One, she is fucking tiny. Two, I have a gargantuan amount of training compared to her. She becomes limp and just glares up at me.

"Jasper, what do you think this will do to the family? What about Bella? Did you guys even think this whole thing through before you went off and cheated on us?"

"Alice-"

"What did you think this would do to us? Does marriage and commitment mean anything to you?"

"Alice-!"

"Edward is with Bella now! How could you guys run off and do-"

"ALICE! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

She did. Her small mouth hung open in shock.

"Alice, I didn't plan for it to happen. It just did. And as for-"

"You guys went hunting together alone! What were you two planning on doing?"

"We were planning on hunting! And we fucking did! Do you not notice how light my eyes are?"

"But why did you two go without us? Without me?" she growled.

"Because," I spat out. "Because I'm fucking sick and tired of you, everyone in the house was pissing me off, except for Edward. You were especially driving me up the wall!"

She rolled her eyes. "Why, because I would rather go shopping than have sex with you all the time?"

Despite myself, I lost my temper. "I didn't ask for you to have sex with me all the time! Jesus Christ! I have needs too! I'm soooo sorry they impeded on your shopping time! And yeah, that was a reason why you fucking pissed me off! But, that's not the only reason."

She began to feel hurt, but quickly pushed it aside and became angry again.

"So, what are you saying? I turned you gay all of a sudden? I seem to recall having sex with you before and you had no problem rising to the occasion! That wouldn't happen unless you had feelings for me!"

I laughed right in her face. "I'm perpetually stuck as a 20 year old. Believe me; it doesn't take much to give me a hard on. And just because Edward and I fooled around doesn't make me gay!"

She opened her mouth to start talking again, but I slapped my hand over it before she could.

"Edward is the only man I've had feelings for. Fuck, he's the only person I've ever had feelings beyond lust for."

Alice started to say something against my hand, and I reluctantly let her talk.

"But what about me? I'm your wife! You have feelings for me! You love me!"

I glared at her. "Were you not listening to me? Did you not hear-" I exhaled loudly and squeezed my eyes shut and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Alice, do you know what I was getting close to doing when you found me?"

"Yes! You were going to…" Her eyes open wider. "You were going to… Volterra. You were going to visit the Volturi… Jasper! Were you going to kill yourself?"

I nodded sharply and replied, "Tell me, Alice, what you would do if you were suicidal and someone came to you promising a new and better life? You'd go with them and feel indebted to them, wouldn't you? You'd go along with them wherever they went, right?"

She stared at me incredulously, but stayed silent. I continued, "Alice, I am grateful that you were able to pull me out of the terrible place I was stuck in, but I do not love you. I have tried, honestly tried, but I don't. I'm very sorry I led you on to believe that. I shouldn't have agreed to marry you or take our relationship past friendship. And for that, I apologize."

Her chin started to quiver again and venom pooled in her eyes.

"Jasper, I love you…"

"I'm sorry; Alice, but I can't return the affection. We need to end this now."

"Are you… Are you asking for a divorce?"

I sighed and nodded slowly. She started the thrash underneath me desperately. She groaned and whined with the effort, but finally gave up, sobbing. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't think it would help. I got off her, but she just remained on the floor.

"I'm not going to agree to it," she stated a few minutes later.

"What?"

"The divorce, you need both partners to sign off on it. I'm not doing it."

"Alice! What is the point of pretending that nothing is wrong? Why are you going to torture yourself like this? I'm never going to be in love with you!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!"

"ALICE, YOU DON'T EITHER!"

"Fuck you… Just, fuck you…" she sobbed, curling on her side.

I took the opportunity to leave. Luckily, there was no one else in the house to have heard the fight, no one to judge me or see me run out like a scared cat. I zoomed through the forest, catching Edward and my faint scent. The rain tried to wash it away, but it was still there. I followed it, going back to the clearing, the rain be damned. That's when I heard it, when I felt it.

Agony.

Not just any agony, Edward's agony. He sobbed loudly, the sound ripping every bit of humanity still in me. I fell to my knees, heaving.

His fury hit me and I heard a soft squishing sound. I was able to pull myself up, but I had to lean against a thick tree in order to stay upright.

I needed to help him. Edward… don't cry. I'm here, I'll help you.

I finally regained my balance and I started to push myself away from the tree. I needed to see his face, his beautiful, perfect face. I needed to tell him that I would always be there for him. He didn't need to be alone again.

"Jasper…"

My body reverberated, my mind repeating the word over and over. My name had so much meaning coming from his lips. I walked towards him slowly, trying my best not to scare him. He sat on his knees, eyes never leaving mine. Hope blossomed within him, and filled my head.

"Edward…"

His eyes filled with emotion and I wanted to touch him. I sat on my knees in front of him. All his worry, his pain- I promise, I'd take it away. My sweet, sweet Edward.

He leaned in, closing the distance between us by a few inches. My hand twitched, so I placed it over his. His chin quivered, and unlike with Alice, I felt a powerful desire to comfort him. So I did. I pulled him into an embrace, and the flood gates opened. He clutched at my shirt, nearly ripping it, but I wouldn't have cared if he did. I just held him, running my hand along his back in circles. I would stay there as long as he wanted and needed me to.

The sun, which barely showed through the now dry rain clouds, began to set. Edward pulled back, to my utter dismay. It wasn't in a rejecting way, so I didn't dwell on his absence. His topaz eyes bore into mine for a moment, before he dropped them to his lap.

He brought them back to mine. "Jasper, I…"

I leaned forward, kissing him lightly on the lips. I knew exactly what he needed, because I did too.

**^_^ Once again, thank you DreamingPoet1988! You are awesome, and deserve lemon bars! Alrighty! Reviews are appreciated!**

**Darkkite23=^..^=**


	7. Chapter 7

**Heh heh… Soooo, yeah… I done goofed. Well, not really. I just got incredibly busy and didn't have time to update. I've had this chapter written for a while, but never typed it up. Wait… So I guess I did goof… :I **

**I'm sorry! I hate having to wait for my favorite stories to update! Wow, that sounded uppity. I'm not saying that this story joins the ranks of the many other ones that are amazing, I'm just saying… You know what? Nevermind. I keep digging myself into a deeper hole. Please, loving readers, find it in your heart to forgive me! Please! **

**Much love and thanks to my Beta, DreamingPoet1988! I LOVE YOOOOOU! XD I really appreciate everything you did to make this chapter awesome! She has a whole slew of amazing stories you dearies should read! Go check her out!**

**Alright. Enough from me. Here you go.**

Our lips whispered against each others and our fingers were tangled in hair. Jasper moaned in my mouth and I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. His mouth tasted like blood and cinnamon. New memories clashed with ones from my past, when I ate toast with cinnamon sugar, watched my mother take a pinch of the spice and put it in her famous apple pie and enjoyed a bowl of cinnamon ice cream on a hot summer day in Chicago. They melted with memories of my first hunt as a vampire, tackling a majestic buck, tasting mountain lion for the first time. But above everything else, my thoughts swirled around Jasper. My senses were overloaded with everything that was the golden haired man I was currently kissing. He tightened his grip in my hair and yanked my head back so he could lick along my jaw and neck. I gasped and shivered, never wanting him to stop. Jasper chuckled and kissed the sensitive flesh at my neck's juncture before speaking again.

"Are you okay now? Do you want to talk about anything?"

I sighed and pulled his face up to mine. I placed light kisses on his full lips and whispered, "I'd rather just do this."

He kissed me back a few times more, but pulled back.

"Edward," he said sadly. "Will you talk to me about why you were so upset? I felt everything you did, and I feel so powerless as to how to help you. Please. Please,

Edward. I can't stand you being in pain."

"You're helping me right now," I whisper, folded him into my chest, his face nestled against my throat. His fragrant breath tickled the electrified skin there. He let his mind wander, mostly dwelling on my agony and then turned to the events preceding him coming here.

_Fuck… What am I going to do about Alice? I need her to sign the divorce papers…_

"You and Alice are getting a divorce?" I yell.

"Um, well, I want to… she won't sign the damn papers…"

My still heart shattered. I was tearing the family apart. I was an awful excuse for an existence. My stomach lurched and I felt like I would be sick. Jasper grabbed my face and forced me to look him in the eyes.

"Edward, you didn't do anything! I don't love Alice. I have _never_ loved Alice. I've never felt anything for her other than indebt to her for finding and saving me." He sighed loudly and closed his eyes sadly. "Before she found me, I was contemplating suicide. I was going to see the Volturi and beg them to end my life."

"Jasper! How could-? Why would-? I… I…" I couldn't finish my sentence. My chest burned at the thought of not having him in my life. How he could've died before I had even met him. He placed a hand on my face and sent me a wave of calm.

"Edward, I'm happy now. Do you know why that is?"

I shook my head. He raised an eyebrow.

_You._

I stiffened, and Jasper's face contorted into fear.

_Oh God! I fucked up! Shitshitshitshit!_

"Edward, I'm so-"

I rammed my mouth onto his. It took him a second to respond, but he finally relaxed and reciprocated with unrivaled fervor. Teeth tugged at lips and tongues crashed against another. The need for another sexual release was tangible. Jasper pushed me to my back, splashing mud and rain onto both of us. He straddled my waist, never leaving my lips. The air around us crackled and sparked and was filled with the sounds of passion. Jasper moved his hips in slow circles, eliciting such sweet torture on my body. Soon, it became too much to bear. Utilizing my vampire speed and strength, I knocked Jasper to his back and leaped on top of him before he could register it. I licked and sucked on his neck, drawing unabated growls from him. I palmed his erection through his dirt covered jeans before replacing my hand with my own groin. Jasper practically roared, and I could tell he was as close as I was.

"Sh-shit… E-Edward! Gonna… Oh god… I'm gonna-"

I silenced him and swallowed his moans as he came. I came not a half second later and we road the waves of ecstasy together. We panted unnecessarily and breathed through each other.

"Ungh… Edward… I lo-"

Our eyes flew open and suddenly I was airborne. I flipped and landed on the balls of my feet. Jasper was nowhere to be found. He almost said it. Those three words… Three words that could change absolutely everything.

Three words. Three syllables. Three pauses:

_I love you._

I didn't know what to do. I sure as hell wasn't going back home, though, I did need clean clothes. Mine were soaked with mud and rain. In fact, I was absolutely filthy. My head whipped back and forth, searching for Jasper.

"Jazz?" I whispered.

Silence answered me.

My shoulders slumped and I looked wistfully at the ground. The area where we were lying was very muddy, the grass pulled out in some places due to the intense friction. It was a giant mud pit and I cringed at the thought of just how ruined my clothes were.

_Shit… Can't believe I almost said that…_

Hearing his thoughts, my head whipped to gaze at the edge of the clearing.

"Jasper?" I say again, this time louder.

"Um, yeah… Just had to get us some clean clothes…"

_Fucking wet shit… Clings to him the right way… Turning me on again._

He emerged from the shadowy trees. The sky was dark blue, getting progressively darker. The stars shimmered brightly and reflected in Jasper's fluid amber eyes. I melted a bit on the inside at the sight of his perfect face. I noted that he was wearing a different outfit already and avoided my gaze as he handed me mine. I thanked him and went to a thicket of trees to change. Even if I wasn't a mind reader, I would've felt his stare on my back. But, I was myself retreating through his thoughts, particularly the way my pants clung to my rear. Smiling to myself, I tried to find a place where he wouldn't see me undress. I was slightly self conscious. A quick scan through his thoughts told me that I was hidden. I finished quickly and went back to him. He looked me up and down, a small smile playing on his lips.

_Damn… I miss the way the wet clothes stuck to his body._

I was very glad I could no longer blush.

"So…" I rocked back and forth on my feet.

"So," he repeated.

We looked everywhere but each other. Jasper exhaled loudly and groaned. I peered at his through my lashes to see a pained expression on his face and his hands buried in his muddy curls. My stomach lurched and I had an unbearable desire to touch him. My hand went to the back of his neck.

"Why are you…?"

He squeezed his eyes shut and said, "Can we just forget what I almost said earlier? Please?"

He opened one eye hesitantly, so I nodded.

"Thanks," he breathed. "So, um, do you want to talk about why you practically killed me earlier? Your sadness and rage… It almost choked me."

I pinched the bridge of my nose before beginning.

"Well, I went to see Bella…"

_Damn bitch._

"I must've been ignoring her or something, because she was kind of anxious and upset. She started to cry and I got flustered, so I kissed her."

"Doesn't sound like you had a problem," Jasper all but snarled.

"Let me finish. So, I kissed her, but I kept getting frustrated, because it didn't feel right. I guess I lapsed in control, because I ended up ripping some of her hair out and kissed her so hard that she cut her lip on one of her teeth. " I buried my face in my hands and mumbled, "I'm a fucking monster."

Jasper's soft, yet strong, hands tugged at my wrists. I resisted, but ultimately, he was able to pull them away. He was much stronger than me. He clasped my face between his hands. Mine were wrapped around his wrists.

"Edward. You are not a monster," he whispered, looking deeply into my eyes.

"Yes I am!" I snarled.

His grip tightened on my face. "Edward, no you are not. A monster is not kind, loving, passionate or caring. You are. Edward, it was an accident. They happen to everyone."

"Yeah, but I could've killed her! I could've tasted her blood and drained her!" Thoughts of what I COULD have done swirled around in my head, and I thought of the thousand other ways the day could've ended tragically.

"But you didn't. And there are so many things that _could_ have killed her. The van? James? Me? Anytime she comes over, it's hard for me not to kill her."

I looked into his vacuum eyes. They swirled like melted butterscotch. He was completely sincere. We stayed silent and looked into the others' eyes.

Jasper spoke softly. "Maybe we should go. You know, just get away from all this stress."

He brought his face closer to mine and kissed my forehead before speaking again.

"I want to run away with you, Edward."

**Again, I'm so sorry for the long wait! I'll try not to let it happen again! I'm not making promises, but I will try my hardest! My computer is in mostly working order. It decided to fizzle out on me a few weeks ago, right in the middle of a really big project. As in, MY GRADUATION PROJECT. Yeah, you know the one you need to do to, oh I don't know, GRADUATE. Hera, I am so disappointed in you right now. (Hera is my laptop. I name just about everything I own.)**

**Anyhoo, I get really motivated by your reviews! Thank you for reading, dearies!**

**Darkkite23 =^..^=**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey… Sooooo, it's been a while… Let's just say that with graduation and everything going on, I've been rather stressed out. Also, I'm kind of losing a bit of steam for this story. I'm not abandoning it. It might just take me a bit longer to update. I do, however, have quite a lot in store for my other Edward/Jasper story, "Bathroom Tryst." Check it out if you haven't already.**

**A huge thanks to my beta, Dreamingpoet1988! Her story, "Riding Wild", is really great! Go check it and her other stuff out!**

"I want to run away with you, Edward."

His eyes widened and his expression was unreadable. Even his emotions were unreadable. I had no idea what impact my words had on him. We were silent for what seemed like hours. My knees began to tremble and I knew that if he didn't say something soon, I'd crack.

"Edward, please… Say something. What are you thinking?"

His eyes, which had been focused on the ground, looked up into mine. They were… confused. His emotions were becoming a bit clearer.

"How do we do that? How do we just run away? If we don't return to the family, they are bound to track us. Plus, how would we explain it? We can't just up and leave without giving the family an explanation."

I was confused. "Edward… We would tell them the truth, right?"

His brows knit together. "It's not going to be that simple, Jasper. Plus, there's Bella… And you have Alice."

I huffed loudly. I felt like stomping my foot, but that would've seemed childish. Why couldn't anything be easy? Why couldn't Alice just sign the fucking papers? Why did I have to be attached to her? I didn't love her, but at times I wished I did. Everything would've been so much easier. But I didn't love her, and I never would. I stared into Edward's eyes. He was worth it.

"We can leave. Tell Bella you don't want to see her anymore. And then… We can just leave. We'll go to Russia or Asia or anywhere that's far away from here. It only matters that _we're_ together. Fuck the rest of them."

Edward looked down at the ground again. "It's still not that easy…"

I pulled his face up to mine and kissed him hard on his full, red lips. "Take a chance, Edward. Take a chance on me?"

"Okay."

/…/

"You can't leave."

I turned around to see Alice standing in the doorway of our room. Her arms were folded across her chest and her demeanor showed no sign that she would let me through. I had just finished packing some clothes and other essentials into a backpack.

"And why not?"

Her lips curled into a sneer. "I'll know where you guys are, and I'll be able to find you. So, what's the point in leaving?"

"The point is to get as far away from you as possible. The only person I truly care about in this family is Edward. He's the only one who-"

"Aw. Is he the only one who _understands_ you?"

I was furious. "Alice, move out of my fucking way. You can't stop us from leaving. Edward is going to break up with Bella and then we are going somewhere far away."

"Chicago."

"What?"

Alice looked at me smugly. "You guys are going to Chicago. I can see it. The first thing you're going to do is find Edward's old home, and then you'll find some hotel and fuck."

I was flabbergasted. Edward and I talked about Chicago, but it wasn't really set in stone. But what disturbed me the most was the vicious way she mentioned something so intimate.

"Alice, why is it any business of yours what Edward and I do? Why can't you just let us go and be happy? I'm miserable here. I feel… confined. Everyone is so afraid that I'll slip that I can't relax. The only time I've felt comfortable is around Edward."

"You being miserable is your own damn fault! I have done nothing but love you! I fucking saved your sorry ass!"

"Saved me from what? You had no fucking idea that I was going to try to kill myself! You only had a vision that you were going to meet me! You didn't know what I would've done until I told you earlier today!"

She sobbed and ran forward to try to hold me, but I stepped back.

"Jasper, I love you! You are the first thing I saw when I woke up! You guided me away from becoming a monster. I found you and we were able to find the Cullen's. You can't say that doesn't mean anything!"

I sighed and closed my eyes as I ran a hand through my hair. "Maybe…" I exhaled slowly. "Maybe you were meant to find me and we were meant to find the Cullen's, but I don't think we were meant to be together. Maybe… I was meant to meet Edward."

She looked at me for a while. Then, the corner of her lips turned up. She was smirking.

"Do you honestly believe that bullshit? You were meant to meet Edward? You did meet him. Then what? You avoided each other like the plague, and now all of a sudden you love each other? Bull. Shit. You're just horny."

Completely unable to hold myself back, I leaped at Alice. I knocked her to the floor, but I had enough restraint to leave it at that. I pinned her arms to her sides and kept her on the ground. She squirmed a bit, but it was useless.

"Don't try to minimize my feelings for him because I don't love you. Deep down, I don't even think you love me. I think we both felt bound to each other because it took both of us to find the Cullen's. But that's it. It's not love, Alice. I don't love you, and I highly doubt you love me. Now please, stop trying to act like it is. Let's end this."

Alice stared up at me with her wide, amber eyes. I could tell she was thinking over everything I said. I got off her slowly when I was sure she wouldn't try to do anything hasty. We both sat up.

"Alice," I looked deeply into her eyes. "You deserved to find someone who loves you as much as you love him. I'm sorry I'm not that person."

Her chin quivered a bit. Without saying a word, she stood up and left.

I had no idea what to do.

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**Darkkite23=^..^=**


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